Courtney, Frank

What are the odds that a kid growing up near Route 66 — “The Mother Road” — would fall in love with the automobile? I’d put money on that. But what about the chances of a guy from Albuquerque becoming a television network newsman? … Still within the realm of possibility. Now, how about the chances of the same guy scoring a major hit with a reality TV show?

Lattig

In the case of Fort Worth’s Derik Lattig, a 24-year veteran of TV news, his career soon may include an even brighter TV future. The New Mexico native has produced his first TV pilot with a proven formula for success.

“I got to thinking one day, when I was driving down the road, ‘I like cars, and of course I like women’ … a lot of guys like cars and women, so why not combine the best of both worlds?,” Lattig told PingWi-Fi.com.

In an instant, the “Garage Girlz” concept was born. Lattig’s brainchild features a local mechanical guru, with a penchant for custom autos and pin-striping — Frank Palmer. In the show, Palmer will teach several women — pretty much novices to the greasy, oily world of hotrods — the art of auto customization as they rebuild a classic ‘48 Chevy … a “roller” from a junkyard.

While Lattig continues his day job as a regional producer for CBS News, he has found a way to combine his profession and his passion — vintage automobiles. (Lattig owns a ‘54 Chevy, a ‘56 Thunderbird and a ‘67 Camaro.)

The journalist/producer thinks “Garage Girlz” will draw in male viewers for obvious reasons, but also females who want to learn more about cars.

Lattig secured a Sinclair service station, immaculately restored by owner Paul Lemon, on Fort Worth’s near south side to house the project. He recruited several auto mechanic understudies in a Fort Worth café. With a variety of personalities and a tight deadline — to complete their ride within one week –who knows, it could be a volatile mixture of horsepower and … well … cat fights.

Because every sweet ride needs rock ‘n’ roll, Lattig also signed up two Texas music legends to collaborate. Nuevo Wavo pioneer Joe King Carrasco, and also Bubba Hernandez of the Grammy-winning Brave Combo will provide music for the project.

Next steps? Lattig hopes to shop “Garage Girlz” around at various networks, and hopefully will score the fastrack to a television near you. Meanwhile, Lattig wears all hats for the project, from microphone operator on-location to social media director on-line.

To follow on Facebook

To see the “Garage Girlz” Trailer

…

Interesting detour: In addition to classic automobiles, Lattig collects all types of Americana and once compiled and sold a complete set of vintage Route 66 road signs.

Kicks, Route 66

Know what I sayin?

“Are you an Indian?”

Let me start by saying I have the greatest respect for Native American peoples — both for their enduring the invasion of their homeland, and for their ability to take dusty reservation land and turn it into ski resorts, billion-dollar casinos, oil/gas well bonanzas, art and more … I get all that, and I salute them. And I treasure the ways of old …

But … I have often found that a bizarre question is a great icebreaker, as I attempt to meet other travelers during my PingWi-Fi travels.

So, when I wrapped up my trip to Taos, New Mexico with the obligatory trip to see the working Taos Pueblo culture, I posed that question to a few passersby.

But here’s the hitch. I only asked people who were noticeably blond and of European descent, much like myself, as we wondered around the dusty tribal attraction.

Reetta, Finland

Ha … I got some really strange looks of disbelief. Some actually thought I was serious, and answered “Nah, Nah” with Nordic accents. Eventually, they saw my humor and we played together nicely.

Now, about this Pueblo culture — I mean, from a photo standpoint, it is like walking into a Georgia O’Keefe painting … bright colors juxtaposed with muddy orange adobe hues … light and shadow bending over cube dwellings and round earth ovens (”hornos”) … the picturesque San Geronimo church, etc., etc.

And the interaction with the artisans! There is traditional and avant pottery in the homes/galleries as well, striking paintings, new age herbal health remedies and burning sage air fresheners … more than I can mention.

Linda, Aguila

If you have not visited, imagine on the outside that the Pueblo is just as you have seen in countless postcards. On the inside, some of the houses are simple and sparse, with only a few onyx pipes and animal skin drums on display. Some might rival a high-end gallery in Taos or Santa Fe.

My favorite? Near the front of the Pueblo is a house featuring art, music and the spoken word of double Grammy winner Robert Mirabal. Darned the luck. I was told he was there a few hours before my visit. I traded notes with one of his colleagues and we made a treaty … IF she pings me on this site, she will get a free PingWi-Fi t-shirt in the desert color of her choice.

Hats, San Geronimo

Back to my thoughts on the Native peoples … The one recording I own that features flutist or flautist Robert Mirabal is a CD of Michael Martin Murphy music … Also, do you know MMM’s song “Geronimo’s Cadillac”? It tells the story much better than I, about the Indians being dumped on reservations, their tenacity, the hardships, their survival and eventual payoff in the long run.

Geronimo’s Cadillac

I digress … you must see the Taos Pueblo … even though I detected no Wi-Fi in and around the houses.

Back to the ranch, so to speak. After I left the Pueblo, I made a rare appearance in a casino. Yes, I contributed a meager amount to the tribe’s war chest … but I did walk away with a little … One of my new cherished souvenirs is a voucher from Taos Mountain Casino for 99 cents.

So … Taos has more art galleries than you can shake an atlatl at. There are wannabe shamans, crystal/mineral emporiums, a plethora of coffee shops, world-class restaurants … do it got Wi-Fi?

It do. Here’s what I found:

Donna, Taos Java

First up, the appropriately named Taos Java. I think I formed a bit of a tourist crush on the owner — not for her beauty, which she had in generous amounts indeed, but for her work ethic. Donna busts her arse, moving quickly around the shop and behind the counter, making it happen! Oh Taos Java is plenty cool, with native-inspired décor, funky craftsy wooden furniture and timbered ceilings … but it has a much faster pace than many of the laidback retail Taos establishments. I found the pace refreshing. I had places to see and people to be …

TJ even has a computer workstation for the laptop challenged, and the local merchant map lists it as a cyber café … or was that another joint? There are worse things to be called …

At first blush, I was thinking perfect score. With a little persuasion, it could happen, but this time 6 pings. Taos Java has perfect Wi-Fi, passcode protected (buy a drink, get the code), excellent atmosphere, great coffee and frozen drinks. I made a slight deduction on the watermelon smoothie … which is a tough drink to pull off, in all fairness.

Five Star Burgers

Five Star Burgers — excellent burger. But, no Wi-Fi? I had their signature burger, which has gorgonzola cheese and a huge patty on a brioche bun. Note: the green chili mayo on the side turned the extra trimmings into an accompanying salad.

Five Star Burgers

But what? Fries on the side are extra and no Wi-FI? … no score.

My first visit to Mondo Kultur was not everything it could be — but I admire their honesty. I walked in carrying my laptop one evening, and the heads-up hostess informed me the store was closing in 15 minutes. Good call. I left and came back the next morning. I was glad I did. The owner was working the morning shift, and she is also the entrepreneur who launched Chica Blanca Burritos. Nice lady.

Daniel

Mondo Kultur has an excellent cup of Joe, and the joint is filled with locals. This is what I have been looking for. In Taos, the locals easily can outweigh the tourists when it comes to eclecticism. And my new Mondo Kultur Krew were up to the challenge. I sat with a group of a dozen or so locals and traded Internet observations. Several Taosians showed me their Web sites and I showed mine. There was an attorney, some retired Ph.D. educators, a construction guy, a TV executive, etc., etc., Most of then snatched up free PingWi-Fi t-shirts … which “made my heart sang.”

Mondo Kultur Krew

There were so many people with the free shirts, it could have been a flash mob all decked out in PingWF attire. As the krew subsided, one gentleman stayed behind to chat. Diverse guy? Ha … he had invented a light bulb used in film, won an Oscar, produced documentaries, and most recently run for president of New Mexico only, and taken his case to The Supreme Court (verifying now).

See Daniel Pearlman referenced in this article:

Background

Klara, Loka

Oh yah, and Mondo Kultur has mundo Wi-Fi and movie rentals, rock ‘n’ roll artwork, Native American art, Janis Joplin on the stereo, and yes, leopard print carpet .. “Todo el mundo canto, y yo canto tambien” — 6 pings.

Another place kept slipping through my fingers … meaning I couldn’t catch them open. That is the one and ONLY thing I would change about Loka Bakery — they close at 3 p.m. Finally on my last morning in Taos, I snuck up on my prey and caught them open. Well worth the wait!

I had a great Americano and a steaming cup of free Wi-Fi … on-line, sending out tweets and adding caffeine to my mixture immediately.

Loka Bakery

Loka is basically an art gallery that just happens to have a great coffee shop/bakery/cafe between the lines. Leo Garel, for one, caught my eye. Klara, behind the counter, did a great job representin … what more could I want?

Great art, sustenance, lots of cool factor, hip music, Wi-Fi — all just a block or so off the plaza. Loka Bakery gets 7 pings, a perfect score.

Man, there are coffee shops everywhere in Taos, no doubt a must for the winter ski season.

I love the name of the Taos alternative publication The Horse Fly. Here is what they had to say:

“Just review with me the musical names of the shops as you encounter them when you enter town from the south: Full Belly Deli, Purple Sage Café, The Bean, Taos Java, Mondo Kultur, Wired? Coffee Cyber Café behind Albertson’s, Café Loka on Ledoux, World Cup at the crossroads, Noula’s on the Plaza and Caffé Tazza on Kit Carson, Koffee Kats in the Bent St. Shops, The Coffee Spot (used to be the Northside Bean), Elevation in El Prado, Taos Cow in Seco, and two Black Diamond Coffees at the Ski Valley, one by Taos Ski and Boot and one on the backside of the mountain in Kachina Basin.

Taos’s coffee places fit into that social pattern. We have our créma connisseurs and blend cognoscenti, but for more than half of the patrons (I’m betting), the feel of the place keeps them coming. As the theme music of the TV sitcom “Cheers” sang, “You want to go where everybody knows your name.”

Well played.

The next to catch my eye was The Bean. It is in a somewhat non-descript little shopping center, but the owners have done a great job to Taos-tify the place, with raw timbers fencing off a neat little patio area. Inside, the café is nice and quaint. I tried a bean freeze — clever — Heath Bar bean freeze to be exact. It worked, but, The Bean needs straws of a bigger caliber before it takes on chunky heath matter in the frozen treat.

The Bean

Wi-Fi? No! I was shocked, I mean a place that put that much thought into its name (just kidding) didn’t include wireless Internet on the menu. A brain freeze for me, but no score for you. Sorry.

The last night in Taos, I checked out Sushi A La Hattori primarily because of the artwork outside the restaurant. SALH is in the Overland Sheepskin Company complex. So, there are fountains, gardens, other shops and really cool sculptures surrounding the place. Wi-Fi? Nope. Like the sculptures, SALH relies on its good neighbors for a Wi-Fi network. Thanks to The Salon for Wi-Fi. And the art … very nice steel recycling motif by Bruce Campbell … and others.

Found Steel, Bruce Campbell

I finished off a boat load of great, and seemingly very fresh sushi and had edamame as an appetizer. Who am I to question the sushi master, but I suggest some sea salt sprinkled on the edamame … then you have perfection.

I get by with a little help from my friends and/or neighbors. Sushi A La Hattori chose a location with Wi-Fi and other people’s art … but it worked to their advantage — 4 pings.

Sushi With A View

My very first sample on this trip — free Wi-Fi outside Koffee Kat, just across the ally from Taos Plaza, in the Bent Street area. I liked the walk-up window for grabbing a quick latte or whatever … But, I felt the server was working too hard between counter and window, cutting down on smiley time.

However Ms. nonchalant did have time to sit behind me on her break, smoke and violate my air space … LOL. I’ll cut her slack, though, because I like her purple hair. Later on, I saw the same woman at an intersection, and she yielded to let me, the crazy guy on the bicycle, ride on through. Peace!

Oh … back to Koffee Cat … I tried a fun s’more smoothie. It was good, but I ask you, do you put peanut butter in your s’more? I think not.

I don’t like to diss, but I felt ignored in the service/personality category. The inside seating was not overflowing with love or bodies either. Wi-Fi was good, a saving grace — 3 pings.

Obviously I could go on and on … I won’t, but I must mention two more “vendors.” First, my hometown-based RadioShack. They tried. What I mean is that my rechargeable battery for my camera went dead. The Shack didn’t have the exact batter, but they sold me a rechargeable replacement. Unfortunately it didn’t work.

Lara, Representin

So … I was pretty down. There were two-days-worth of travel photos stuck in my camera as I arrived in Taos … perhaps about to be lost. AND, I had two days of pinging Wi-Fi and shooting more photos ahead of me.

Next stop … and the most valuable stop on my trip — Walmart! It started touch and go with Wally Mart. I wandered through the electronics department and was shunned by not one, not two, but three sales associates. Basically: “Cameras … not my department.”

Apparently it was no one’s department … and then oh lucky day! An executive from Walmart corporate saw me and the funny, inquisitive look on my face and stopped to help me. Lara took charge and grabbed a replacement battery, made the sale and sent me packin!

The obsessive amounts of photos in this blog post are thanks to Lara at Walmart … oh and get this. Taos is a small town. The next day, Lara and her colleague were at the breakfast buffet in my hotel … The Hampton Inn. (Decent Wi-Fi … but we should talk …) We spoke and exchanged business cards. Also, I distracted her momentarily and stole some food off her plate. (I don’t know why, for gosh sakes, it was a free buffet …) But anyway, don’t tell her!

Know what I sayin?

Arezow, Ty, Mikey At Bubble Chews

As we continue to ping Wi-Fi locations on this ongoing tour, it is tough to decide which is best — the consistency of corporate chains or the charm of the mom/pop shops. (Note: moms get top billing. Who said chivalry is dead?)

Anyway … corporate consistency is nice in its own right … I don’t know, say maybe like Starbucks for example … But sometimes it is difficult to get corporate America to move quickly, for our strategic purposes.

Timing can be everything. This week, PingWi-Fi was hit up by a news team to discuss our ongoing branding issue — as we attempt to defend our logo in a classic David vs. Goliath, trademark court thing. Could we do the TV interview at Starbucks, where we do most of our best blogging? Ha! That would take about a week to get approval … IF we could get approval.

Hmmm … We had to move fast. Where could we find a cool, locally owned joint — a place with Wi-Fi of course, a delicious beverage and room for TV cameras?

Ah yes … how about that cool little boba tea place out in North Richland Hills, Texas — Bubble Chews? (What, you haven’t tried boba tea, or bubble tea? Google it … that in itself is a nice treat.)  Here allow me.

Boba Tea

I digress … I called up the manager over at Bubble Chews. “Open arms” is an understatement. “Bring it!” We did.

It was exciting to earn some media coverage for this Web site, and it was exciting to share something new with fellow journalists. Perhaps, there was even a little pressure in that regard. Boba may not be everyone’s cup of tea. Would the news team from KTVT-TV like the place we were recommending? What if they were finicky?

Ha … speaking of finicky, the camera person’s name was Mikey! Anyone remember the breakfast cereal commercials about the finicky kid who didn’t like anything? His name was Mikey (Mikey the poster child for finicky)! You know, like, “Hey Mikey! He likes it. He likes it. Mikey doesn’t like anything.”

So anyway, I was feeling some boba pressure, after I recommended this place for our meeting.

No worries … the interview went well and the news team assured me that the bobas went down easy as well.

Boba didn’t let me down, nor did the Wi-Fi hotspot at Bubble Chew. While Arezow grilled me with questions, Mikey was shooting all kinds of closeups of my iPad screen as I surfed the Web and tweeted and updated Facebook via the wireless network, flawlessly.

Shout out to Arezow and Mikey from Channel 11, and thanks to Ty and the gang at Bubble Chews.  Me?  I just like stabbing that big old straw into the air-tight, sealed boba cup.

Bubble Chews — Modern furnishings, lots of natural light, hip music, board games, funkiest drinks this side of Taiwan and excellent free Wi-Fi. I just wish they opened earlier in the morning … so a minor deduction for that — 6 pings, a near perfect score.

Know what I sayin?

We’ve all heard a motivational spiel about “bad things happening to good people” … and “all things working for the good” …

I was a key player in a case in point, just the other night.

Like a fool, I was carrying clean laundry down the stairs, when I learned the hard way that a light was burned out at my place. Like a stuntman, I tumbled down a few steps on the dark, hot, hard cement. Like most everyone would, I popped up embarrassed and looked around to see who had seen me crash and burn.

Nothing was broken, except for my road warrior flip flop. (Tempted to write, I flipped, it flopped … but I won’t)

What good could possibly come from this? Ha … it gave me an idea for a blog. That’s kind of a good thing … ish.

Stay with me … I was thinking what a hassle to get in the car and drive somewhere to replace my flip flop because someone didn’t replace a light bulb. But what else could I do? Flip flops are a staple in any travel blogger’s office attire.

Hmmm … “I know,” I said to myself, aloud, as I am prone. “I will call Banana Retard … I mean Banana Repub” to see if they have flip flops on sale, before I trek on over.

Then it occurred to me … when I was a kid, flip flops were called “thongs.” It was much later that skimpy underthings were to become known as “thongs” — probably because they resemble that strap that fits between your toes (on the old-school thongs, or flip flops).

I wonder how many people have discussed the evolution of the meaning of thong — flip flop or garment? … I digress. And don’t get me started on the term floss, in this context.

Anyway, I thought it would be so funny to call up B-Repub or Old Navy, (in my most deadpan male voice of course) and ask if they had a sale on thongs. It would probably brighten some retail clerk’s dreary day. Eventually, I would let on that I meant shoes … which would probably also provide entertainment in a dork sighting sort of way.

And as my daydream continued, it took me (metaphysically speaking) to the corporate offices of the XYZ Shoe Company. Did they at one time conduct marketing surveys to see if in fact they were losing control of their brand image? Were they losing their grip on the “thong.” How much advertising budget were they willing to devote to maintaining control of the thong? Should they bring in the corporate lawyers to fight for the thong? Did they host panel discussion to see if a thong most often divided toe cleavage or rear endage? At what point did they throw in the towel, and just say “We have lost our hold on the thong.”

Silly, you are thinking? Would a corporation really try to protect some term that had become a common household word, with a considerably different and widespread meaning. (What, you don’t talk about thongs in your household?)

May I submit Exhibit A … a battle over a word that has many common meanings — meanings that are used in totally different contexts … from different worlds … Check this out. Then, ping me tomorrow, and tell me what you think …

What Does It Mean To You?

Know what I sayin?

And then, if those followers from Twitter migrated to this Web site, which is my goal … well, who knows what could happen. “It could become a movement.”

Ironic that numbers are so important to us words guys … but blogging and tweeting is a constant quest to get more readers. And we pick up bits of wisdom from everywhere.

One of the old-school blogging tips is this: “You MUST allow readers to comment on your blog … period!”

My first blog was quite successful, and yet no comments were ever allowed. This one, has much potential, but admittedly has started slower. So … even as stubborn as I am … I made the change on Word Press and began allowing comments to be posted by outsiders on PingWi-Fi.com.

I am grateful for all feedback. There have been several nice things posted, and I appreciate that immensely. (Ha, I didn’t even know my mom has Internet access …)

But, the other side of comments? It is one more excellent way to get spammed. There are these annoying little spambot things that search the Internet for sites that allow comments. They slip in, leave some pooh, and go on about there merry business.

I think I allowed the first spoof comment to be posted. It was something like: “This blog is helpful.”

I remember thinking, “Sounds like someone needs help, oh well, maybe this blog will keep them alive until the ambulance arrives.”

Soon I picked up on the generic tone of the e-mails and realized it was a hoax. Most of them say. “Good information. Keep posting,” or whatever, and then they leave the pooh — a link to some Web site that sells discount insurance, or whatever.

Most of them are pretty innocuous and bland. Some have a little salsa — “Yo soy deprimida …”

The most accurate: “A big thumbs up on this.” LOL!

The most intriguing: “Just because the circus has left town, doesn’t mean the monkey is off your back.” So true. I think “Come join the circus” evolved from this …”

Most opportunistic? “I found your blog on Google. Please link to mine.” I will disclose the URL if in fact you need a supply of acai berry squeezings.

Many comments include their URL but no comment. Some comments might as well be blank: “Just a brief not to share my thoughts …” (That’s it?)

But, I got one the other day that tempted me to allow it to post … just for their originality in the boring world of spiderbot messages.

The comment?

“You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.”

Man, I hope someone doesn’t write back to tell me they are furious because that was their comment. I need the readers!

“Know what I sayin?’

Sarta Worldwide Broadcast Team

The idea for my first blog, The Wi-Fi Guy back in 2002 or so, came to me when strangers continually approached me in Starbucks and asked how in the world my laptop was on-line — there among the coffee grounds and the pseudo intellectuals.

Now I have a new icebreaker. Not since the infancy of Wi-Fi have so many people struck up a conversation with me over a random topic — my new Apple iPad. Love or hate them apples, everyone seems to be interested in this toy/efficient tool.

The other day in Millington, Tenn., I was approached by another hotel guest at the morning feeding frenzy (hotel breakfast buffet, with waffle maker).

“How do you like that iPad?”

Little did he know, the iPad was merely bait. Soon he was lured in, and we were doing one of my favorite things in the world — discussing baseball.

It seems this guy was the coach of a 17 & Under baseball team from Georgia, playing in a tournament at Millington’s USA Stadium. Incidentally, the small-town park has a pretty big history … once a U.S. Olympic training facility. People came from all over the world to play baseball in Millington. It’s one of those “if you build it …” phenoms. Check out the video:

USA Stadium

(So anyway, I was looking for some BSM on my second weekend away from my Dirty Gig duties in disaster recover … oh that? … “blog subject matter.”)

Play ball!

I took the coach up on his invite to the tournament and rode my bike from one end of Millington to the other, no sweat … or not a terminal amount anyway. But, I ain’t gonna lie, by the time I spotted the ballpark’s foul poles, my first consideration was some shade.

Lucky me! In the bleachers there were two groups of fans. I sided with the ones who had erected an awning.

But, before they would gimme shelter, I had to meet one criterion. (Yes I know I am posting this on Mick Jagger’s birthday, and that Rolling Stones reference was intentional … I digress …)

“Which team are you yelling for, before you sit in our shade?”

“Er, uh … The team from Georgia,” I fabricated, quickly.

It was my lucky day again. That day, the game featured two teams from Georgia. (I think I sat with the ones yelling against my new coaching buddy … oh well …)

My second consideration at USA Stadium? You guessed it. Did it have Wi-Fi? Well in that regard, “no joy in Mudville” … when looking for Wi-Fi, I struck out.

But … but, I did see a great use of wireless technology.

I have seen me some peewee, high school, college, minor and MLB baseball in my travels — ranging from The College World Series, to the pressbox of The San Francisco Giants … to Nolan Ryan’s Dell Diamond:

Texas State Baseball Playoffs, Dell Diamond

Giants Game From Wi-Fi Guy Archive

And, as I told my Sarta friends, I have even seen a high school player hit homeruns “for the cycle” … in a single game — grand slam, 3 on, 2 on, 1 on, and a solo shot!

But this was the first time I have seen a high school team “broadcasting” their game back to the fans at home using the wonders of the World Wide Web.

The Sarta Reds fans, from Dallas, Georgia, assured me that their Dallas was smaller than mine, yet they were totally big league when it came to Internet savvy. (”Remember The ‘Sartans?’” … LOL … I confess I have no idea what Sarta means … )

These Red folk were streaming the game live on the Internet using UStream and a 3-G wireless card, a laptop and a couple of digital video “cameri.” Ha … they even had a good color announcer and a mascot dog.

Worldwide Coverage of Sarta Reds

Ha … the stream is password protected, however, and I can’t disclose that information, but I think if you talk to the mascot dog, “Molly” … hint, hint … you too can see the game video.

I need to re-watch the game, specifically, to see if my ploy worked. Yes … I jumped shamelessly in front of the cameras to take a photo of the Ustream crew, hoping to get my PingWi-Fi.com t-shirt into their coverage of the game. It could happen.

Best of all, I met several new fans, including a young fan who asked me if I would be writing about my chance meeting with the Sarta Reds from Dallas, Georgia.

Ha … a representative from the tournament also asked me if I would be writing about the ballpark, since he did honor my media credentials. (He let me in free … and I didn’t even have to tell him I have done a book on Nolan Ryan …)

NOLAN RYAN: The Authorized Pictorial History

(For the record, I did buy a souvenir t-shirt and a Gatorade … so he still got me, in spite of the free admission.)

I believe he put it to me like this: “If you don’t write about us, well, then you are a sorry #%&!-head.”

My compliments to your media relations trainer … LOL. Always good to hold up my end of the deal.

Know what I sayin?

Back in my newspaper days, occasionally the editor would give me “Man on the Street” interview assignments. “Great! Where can you find 20 people who have enough spare time to comment on celebrity gossip, trade embargoes or a new strain of e-coli?”

The first time I manned up on the street, it took me about 3 hours to get enough interviews. People were just too busy.

There had to be an easier way. “Where can I find people sitting, bored, and willing to chat?” (This predated nouveau coffee shop craze …) I discovered the waiting room at the full-service car wash. Soon, MOTS interviews were completed in 30 minutes.

Even later, my observations of bored waiting rooms, combined with my first blog — The Wi-Fi Guy — led to my theory that “someday, any and every place where butts are in seats, will have Wi-Fi.” Maybe it was a no brainer, but back in 2003, some people thought I was crazy. “What is Wi-Fi?”

Flash forward. Yesterday, I went to a Goodyear store in Millington, Tenn. Not only was there a Wi-Fi hotspot, they advertised it right on the front door … where the rubber meets the road. Was it good? Glad you aksed. I pulled out my iPhone and pinged the hotspot. I was on line, tweeting in about 5 seconds — even before the salesman captured my contact information and prepared to change the oil in my ride.

Goodyear in Millington — I went in for an oil change, pinged some peeps, tweeted — fast, easy and free — faster then they could say “You need two new tires.” Great service … perfect Wi-Fi experience … perfect score — 7 pings (but remember to rotate them after 20,000 miles).

Even before Goodyear pinged my ride, I had the chance to burn up some miles around Tennessee. Sorry, but I avoided the obvious attraction. Been to Graceland, done that … This time I sought out the deeper, darker side of the Memphis sound. By chance, I saw a traffic sign promoting the Stax Museum of American Soul Music. SCREEEEEEETCHing halt. (Prolly why I needed new tires.) You really should read up on Stax and check this place out.

Soulsville

Book

Joe Tex

At Graceland you can see lame’ jumpsuits with capes. At Stax there is more flare … but it is a lot mo funky ya’ll. Six-inch platform shoes … orange felt fedoras … Isaac Hayes’ totally pimped out green and gold-plated Cadillac (which spins on a turntable) … and the history of the real Memphis sound. Memphis Slim … Joe Tex … Rufus Thomas … Aretha Franklin … Ike & Tina Turner … & on & on … I mean, Aretha Franklin, Memphis Slim and Booker T all were raised within blocks of each other, near the museum. Ha … sidenote … I am an absolute freak for Hammond B-3 organ (used extensively in church, rock and reggae …) The museum even has a Hammond keyboard (an M-3) that belonged to Booker T … way cool. Equally quirky, yes I still have a vinyl copy of Booker T &The MGs “Green Onions.”

Stax got Wi-Fi? It do … but … unfortunately the hotspot is for staff only. I toured the place, grabbed a soulful shirt to feed my t-shirt addiction but had to use 3G to send out a ping or two.

Stax Museum of American Soul Music - It’s got a great beat, you can really dance to, but I would add Wi-Fi to the rhythm section — 5 pings.

Tighten Up

Visit their site and listen to all the great tunes:

Soulsville USA

The Stax displays were covered with awesome record album art and memorabilia … including some Tina Turner 4-1-1 … which jogged my memory of her old song “on highway number nineteen … little ol’ town in Tennessee … Nutbush, Nutbush city limits.” “Where on God’s green earth is Nutbush?,” I wondered.

Back in the workplace — recall that I fund this blog by working in disaster recovery — some local laborers told me they live in Nutbush … a neighborhood within Memphis. But, gentlemen, the song begs to differ. That ain’t the real Nutbush.

I called up Yahoo Maps on my new Apple iPad and got to the bottom of this Nutbush thing. There it was … about 60 miles north of Memphis. I left more rubber on the road and cruised north on 51. It’s clearly marked … Highway 19. I hung a right and drove past numerous cornfields, obscure blues bars/shacks … a faith healing place called God’s House … some cotton fields …

I loved the NB City Limits song as a kid — although props and shout out to my sister … She turned me on to it. My hometown was about 800 people. My buddies and me, we we’re all dusty little farmboys — wearing gimmee caps that had the NK seed company logo.  (We called them Nasty Kid hats, although it really stood for Northrup King … ) Sometimes, the radio and it’s rock ‘n’ roll were our only window to the world. So, I had to know if in fact Tina Turner had been raised in a smaller, more rural place. Tina wins hands down. Coming from the west on Highway 19, I don’t think there was a sign to mark Nutbush’s city limits. In the town’s defense, there are several signs on the east side — Nutbush (unincorporated) and signs proclaiming Tina Turner Highway. Now that is bling, when you have your name in a reflective road sign …

We Ping The Funk

Nutbush, my friends, is smaller than it sounds in the song. There is a store/café marked with “Birthplace of Tina Turner” … a cemetery which coincidentally features (what I think is another) Turner family headstone as soon as you drive in the gate as well as Confederate flags instead of flowers on some graves … There are a couple of churches, but most of the downtown real estate is dedicated to the local cotton gin and it’s equipment. “A little old town in Tennessee …”

Flashinig Double T

Oh this is weird … on the day I drove to Nutbush, that morning in my hotel in Millington, Tenn., this kid was wearing a Texas Tech hat — pretty rare in these parts. Later in the day, I posed in front of Tina’s sign, and flashed the Texas Tech sign with my hands — the “guns ups” hand gesture. Stay with me … then I was thinking about all the things associated with Texas Tech that are called Double T. What are Tina Turner’s initials? One more thing. I was shooting a photo of a logo on a cotton truck. Looking down at the mud flap on the vehicle, I noticed it was printed with Lubbock, Texas … Which of course is the home of Texas Tech … You know, my school which fired the most brilliant coaching mind in football and its all time winningest … I’m just sayin …

Anyway, anything to ping in Nutbush? Ha .. Wi-Fi prolly ain’t allowed, if you know the song … Not even any t-shirts, as I peered into the closed café. Maybe I can do a Ping Nutbush t-shirt … I digress …

Nutbush, Tennessee — no Wi-Fi detected, and “motorcycles not allowed” ya’ll … but it did give us the best legs in rock ‘n’ roll and the queen of Bartertown in “Thunderdome” — 4 pings.

So … back to Highway 51. I think Johnny Winter did a song about it. No wait, that was Highway 61 … back on point. As I was burning rubber to get to Nutbush, I passed Henning, Tennessee. It too was the tiny, childhood (summer) home of a celebrity. If you guessed magician Doug Henning, that would be wrong. (He is dead AND Canadian … Old SNL joke …) As the road signs proudly proclaim, Henning, Tenn., gave the world Alex Haley, who gave the world the best inside look at the heritage of slavery in his phenomenal book and mini-series “Roots.” Actually, Haley spent summers in Henning, with his grandparents … so they shared his roots …

Summer Roots

Alex Haley Roots
Alex gets bragging rights. His summer home is three or four times the size of Tina Turner’s cotton patch. The Alex Haley Museum is in the writer’s boyhood home … But alas, was also closed.

In both of these hometowns, it is amazing to look around and see the rural setting, scattered poverty, miles from anywhere … and wonder how in the world they rose to the top. Salute!

Another sign caught my eye … “Fort Pillow.” Why would the Confederates name the fort Pillow? Did Stonewall Jackson sleep there or something? Is someone famous laid to rest? I took the turn and checked it out.

Pillow Talk

About two miles away is the Lower Hatchie Wildlife Preserve, which provides a road right up to the banks of the Mighty Mis-Sip. I followed the road, oddly, surrounded by an escort of wasps and bumble bees … Were they attracted to the brightly colored logo on the side of my Dirty Gigs car?

So after I treaded where Confederate soldiers once trod, and after tracing the roots of two famous Tennessean African American superstars … I cooled off my weary feet in the cool, murky mud of The Great River. There was no Wi-Fi, and I didn’t need it. I met an elderly fisherman — a truck driver by trade, named E.J. — and listened to tall tale after tall tale about the huge catfish that had been given up by the channel just a few feet from where we sat.

Know what I sayin?

That is my all-time favorite icebreaker question when I meet a stranger. I even prefer that question over “What is the best rock concert you ever saw?” I must say, I have a pretty high success rate when I meet someone and then guess to which celebrities they have been compared.

Remember that fun week when everyone on Facebook changed their profile photos to their celebrity doppelgangers? Who was yours? Or … who peeps say you be lookin like?

Ha! I have said it before, and I will say it again, “everyone looks like someone.”

The other day, I surprised one of my Facebook friends by telling her she resembles vintage videos of Jim Morrison. I mean … not that I think anyone would confuse her with a dead rock star, but they might wonder if she was related … She has not responded since.

Vintage Jim Morrison

And me? I have been tagged with some good ones over the years — David Lee Roth when I was 19, experimenting with long hair … Baryshnikov when I was 19, experimenting with long hair and lack of sleep … Interesting, I think both those guys — rock star and ballet virtuoso — made a living wearing tights back in the day … I digress.

I disqualify the David Lee Roth comparison. The young lady who said that also told me her mom owned the FM rock station where I worked at the time and that I should date her or lose my job. Rock on!

During the “Big Chill” era and also during the trippy “Altered States” some friends made William Hurt comparisons with my mug for whatever reason.

William Hurt

Liam Neeson is the celeb I hear most often … in roles ranging from the gentleman anti-Nazi in “Schindler’s List” to a thug in “Gangs of New York.” Personally, I think there is some profiling going on — some people think all us guys with big old flat foreheads looks alike.

Liam Neeson

I am not saying I agree or disagree with any of them … I just sayin …

There have been some other interesting ones lately, including Thomas Jane, the guy who plays “a male escort” in HBO’s new four-letter-word series. Ha … the character has two jobs — one of which is baseball coach. The show adds new meaning to the expression “Don’t give up your day job … I digress.) That part — coaching — I can identify with …

Oh, interesting trivia, an early episode of that show, “Hung,” (okay, there I said it) features a disaster recovery truck owned and branded by the same company that hired me for my second job — a.k.a. the Dirty Gig.
All of this is leading up to something …

Steve, another guy from Texas, and I had been riding to work together for a while on Dirty Gig duty — working to clean up flooding in Tennessee. As we commuted and got to know each other, he answered my trademark celeb question with “Keanu Reeves!”

Keanu Reeves

Dude! I am so not seeing that. I guess I spoke too soon on my doppelganger meter. This one stumped me. Was that Keanu in “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure?”? “Parenthood”? “The Devil’s Advocate”? Or, “Point Break”? I mean, he is kind of the same in every role … any way … I guess Keanu is in the eye of the beholder.

I told Steve that another suggested look-alike come lately for me is Viggo Mortensen, with a footnote — that is Viggo in “A History of Violence” but not so much in his role in “Lord of the Rings,” or “Appaloosa” for that matter.

(Quick sidebar: Did you know Viggo was married to punk star gone country, Exene Cervenka of the punk band X?)

And then, just after that conversation about Viggo, I assured Steve that I have a high kill ratio in doppelganger recognition skills — HKRNDGRS for short.

And at that moment, I saw an easy target. Each morning Steve and I had to drive our vehicle through a military checkpoint — you know guns, probing questions, suspicious looks … show lots of ID … you know the drill.

At the gate there were any number of heavily armed military police types, alternating at various gates. But on that morning, I spied one whom in my mind, I had already been paring with a celebrity lookalike.

As we pulled up to the checkpoint, I assured Steve that I could nail this guy’s celebrity double. For the record, the guard did not look very friendly, but I theorized that everyone likes to talk about themselves … at least a little. And who don’t like being compared to a successful movie star — I ask you?

So, “Steve, watch this.”

We pulled up to the menacing looking guard who was all stone faced behind a dark, dark set of military aviator sunglasses and wearing a SWAT-team cap. If you are picturing congenial, try again. But I knew my uncanny wit could and charm could beat down this lean, mean, killing machine.

He checked our IDs, asked us our business, searched the trunk, etc., without any hint of friendliness. Notthat there’s anything wrong with that.

Then I sprung my question on him. “Sir, who do people say you look like?”

“What?”

“You know what celebrity do people say you look like?”

I ain’t gonna lie. The armed guard gave me a look as if to say, “Son, I can rip your head off and do anything I like inside your little pencil neck, so why are you asking me silly questions? …” He didn’t say that, but he looked like he might.

He didn’t say anything.

I pressed on. “You know, everyone looks like some celebrity — and I think I know which actor people compare you to most often.”

Silence (although I expected him to come out of character, and just do chit chat for one moment).

Nothing.

I had committed by this point, and had to finish, even if I was getting no help from the expert marksman or my passenger “Keanu.”

“Oh come on now. You know what I’m talking about … Surely people say you look just like Ed Harris,” (coincidentally, that is for Harris’ role in “A History of Violence” but not so much “Appaloosa.” Hey, that would make him my co-star … I digress …)

“A History of Violence”

I just knew I had cracked this tough nut. I just knew he was going to let down his guard, so to speak, smile, put his elbow on the car window, crossing his legs, leaning in to chat … you know, offer up other good-natured anecdotes … like the time he was mistaken for Ed Harris and actually signed some autographs …

None of that happened. His answer? One word, clearly — no emphatically — delivered … in a low almost growling voice, with military cadence and definite aggression, but nothing to give any hint of feeling, ever.

“NEGATIVE!”

Hahahaha! That was all he said, and we took that as our orders to move along. And of course as soon as we had driven out of range … we laughed our little doppelgangers off.

And of course, for the next two weeks, Steve and I both relished every “yes or no” question, just waiting for the right opportunity to quote our new favorite method actor.

“NEGATIVE!”

Feel free to use this … but I must tell you it works best, the scarier you sound.

On any job — Dirty Gig or corner office, travel blogger or janitor, one has to find those little things along the way to entertain one’s self. We found “a keeper.”

Know what I sayin?

Moral convictions and personal hygiene/bodily functions are taboos, in my opinion, when it comes to blogging. I try to tread lightly. Normally, I wouldn’t bring up a moral issue because they are so charged with emotion. In addition, I find bathroom humor to be bad form.

However …

This true story compelled me to make exceptions.

But, first … some groundwork … have you ever used a word incorrectly, for like most of your life, and then on some enlightened day someone set you straight? Ha! It happens to me a lot, say like when I use “set” in speech — regardless of whether I mean sit, sat or set. Oh, I know how to conjugate the verb, I just don’t for some very rural reasons. You can take the boy out of the country, but …

Another example … just the other day my brother pointed out that I have been misspelling “putting” for like my entire life, even though I am a self-professed word nerd. So believe you me, I am understanding, when it comes to word issues. Everyone has their moments.

I digress …

So anyway, I am not hating or whatever. I am pointing out how a few messed up letters can so-ooo make all the difference in the world.

Get this.

For the last two months, I have been working on what I call my “Dirty Gig” — a challenging job in the disaster recovery industry — which funds my passion (this Wi-Fi and travel blog).

Well the other day, the gig got really dirty.

Among the hundreds of flooded out houses we are emptying and rebuilding, it seems a few houses were hit with a black tide of raw sewage. Yes, the most unsanitary, gross, nast-AY things you can imagine.

Luckily, I wasn’t in that neighborhood, but my co-worker was and he tried to tell me about it. Therein lies my point. He intended to say that inside one house, in the master bedroom, inside the bed sheets — workers had found feces! Dirty Gig to the max! All kidding aside, that is serious funk … hazmat … so everyone evacuated (probably running and screaming) and specialists in protective suits were called in to remove the hazardous materials. (Picture Bill Murray with the infamous swimming pool Baby Ruth in CaddyShack.)

BUT … huge BUT … my co-worker mistakenly told me they had found a fetus. In my moral circle, there is a huge difference.

Now, considering that you, the reader, know the inaccurate information, remember that I DID NOT when I first heard about this. Imagine my disbelief that everyone was being so nonchalant about this purported lost and found fetus. Ha! Imagine the weird look on my co-worker’s face when I was so concerned and started quizzing him about what he knew to be feces.

“Oh my gosh,” I said. “Do they know who is responsible?” “How far along was the development … I mean like how big was it?”

I just kept digging myself in deeper …

“Could they tell if it was a boy or a girl? You know, how well was it preserved.”

“Is there going to be an investigation?”

My co-worker said nothing … I thought maybe he just didn’t share my belief system and the concern. He of course, thought I was quite insane.

“I mean, there could be an investigation. Depending on the stage of development, this could be considered some sort of criminal case. You know, foul play … abandonment.”

Oh what I wouldn’t give to have read the co-worker’s mind … He was dazed and confused, as I, the journalist, poked around the topic.

It got worse.

“Did we call the coroner? Man, that’s unbelievable … but you know, I have heard of cases where people actually put those in the toilet.”

“I know people who deal with remains. They say human scent is the worst.”

“Weren’t you just a little curious … did you look at it?”

My buddy just thought I had serious issues … He shook his head, got in his car and left, without explaining.

Then I had more journalistic tendencies and started asking other people what they knew about the foundling. Soon the story had spread about these “human remains.” Then finally, someone overheard a discussion about the fetus fiasco and set us straight.

It is a toss up. I don’t know if I was more embarrassed for me and my jumping to conclusions, or for my buddy’s poor choice of words.

But, regardless, I thought it was an interesting story.

Know what I sayin?

]]> http://pingwi-fi.com/2010/06/funding-pingwi-fi-with-dirty-gig-a-poor-choice-of-words/feed/ http://pingwi-fi.com/2010/06/wi-fi-the-2-wheeled-impulse-buy-more-memphis-pings/ http://pingwi-fi.com/2010/06/wi-fi-the-2-wheeled-impulse-buy-more-memphis-pings/#comments Sun, 13 Jun 2010 15:14:25 +0000 Ping http://pingwi-fi.com/?p=4221

Well, I made it through Memphis In May and lived to tell about it - if only I had a little time to tell about it … Been way busy with my Dirty Gig (cleaning up flood damage). Ha … By what I hear on local media, it really is somewhat of a feat to survive here. There have been some terrible crimes - police shootings, pitbull attacks, bank robbers, etc., etc.

Today, one of the headlines is about a 70-year-old golfer who was attacked and robbed on a golf course. Ha! Memphis hypes its PGA event - The St. Jude Classic - in a slightly different fashion than my hometown Colonial. I can’t remember a single fairway shakedown back in Cowtown … but I could be wrong. I do know this, Colonial is all about plaid, but here in Memphis, I am about to experience seersucker Sunday. Fore! IF the tournament comes through with the press credentials, I will be tweeting as @CaddieChat.

Oh … before I forget it. They interviewed the elderly golfer and he invited the hood to come back for another round - one which will feature a new weapon in his golf bag. You go, pops!

I digress …

Anyway … there are more positive things going on here in MemphisTown - much more than the violent news reports I here over and over and over … Including two other sporting events that have been sitting in my stack of notes for several weeks.

As part of the annual Memphis In May celebration, I traveled only a few miles from my hotel here in Millington, Tenn., to catch the MIM Triathlon. Swimming! Cycling! Running! (and BBQ, of course) Who could ask for more? Okay, I could do without the running … but anyway it reaffirmed my faith in humanity. There are large gatherings of people without cancer-causing smoke in the air!

Talk about motivational - the cycling and such - not the little spandex suits … After a few hours or representin at the Triathlon, I rushed out and bought a spare bicycle, since I have been missing my Giant bike, left back in Texas. There was only one place to buy - Walmart - which I think IS the center of the universe here in MillingTown. More on that in a second.

Was there Wi-Fi at the MIM Triathlon? Well no, but one of the event organizers assured me that although she doesn’t “ping, she does Wi-Fi.” Congratulations to Start2Finish Events for a great day.

Start2Finish

Oh … and I was quite pleased that two strangers approached me and complimented me on the design of the PingWi-Fi.com t-shirt. Ha! In the sweltering heat, I think they thought the sweat rings were tie-dye. They were computer guys, so I am relatively sure they didn’t mistake my use of “ping” for another sport:

A Ping By Any Other Other Name

So about Walmart. Mark this on the scorecard as a total impulse buy. I watched all those sweet bikes at the triathlon. I couldn’t take it. I rushed out and bought a bike to ride here in Memphis … or at least I tried.

What is it about me and retail? I now have played a significant role in two of the worst experiences ever in retail. See what I mean, by first reading about the day Target sold me a rock, packaged as an iPod, from my “Blogs About Nothing” section. That day I killed one day with two stones:

Rock My World

Bicycle day at Walmart wasn’t much better. Remember, this was to be a Memphis only bike, so I was going cheap. I chose a hybrid, which of course had to be on the top shelf. Fifteen minutes went by before a nice young dude on a “scissor lift” came by and plucked the bike from the shelf. Yes … it had two flats. The sales associate told me they keep the tires un-inflated so that customers don’t ride the bikes around the store … or possibly, out the door. “I’ll buy that,” and I would buy the bike too - IF they would air up the tires.

I was directed to the automotive department … where the young woman at the counter looked at me as if I were insane. “Air up your tires? The air pump is right over there …” Fine … I am a farmboy, and I paid for my first two years (totally wasted in college) by working at a trucking firm. I have pumped some air in my day.

Quickly, uber quickly, the tires were so tight I couldn’t squeeze them in at all - just like I like them. I started pushing the bike to the door - the front door with cash registers, not the back.

BANG!

A tire blew, but there was so much noise in automotive - along with total apathy - no one seemed to care. I started pushing the bike back to the bike department, where I would ask for a new tube.

BANG!

The second tire blew a few seconds later, in the middle of the store - kind of a delayed explosion. I kid you not. I thought everyone in the store was going to hit the floor. Apparently these Tennesseans have been watching the local newscasts too. It sounded just like a gunshot and everyone knew what to do in that scenario.

If you know me - or if you don’t - you may have guessed that I was getting pretty irritated by this point. I stood there for a minute to see if any sales associate would come out of hiding to help me. Finally, I laid the bike over in the center of the busiest, widest aisle and stood beside it. About 5 minutes later, a clerk came over.

They would not put new tubes on the bike, nor would they give me some tubes to fix the things myself.

Fine … They found a similar bike, even higher up, sort of hidden on the other side of the rack. “Edward ScissorLift” snatched it for me. Good Honk! This one had air in the tires - what was left of them. Apparently customers (or more likely sales associates) had been riding this bike in and out of the store. The tires were worn, with mud, and the bike had lots of scratches.

Finally, I chose yet another bike - slightly more expensive - and called for “professional help” to properly inflate the tires with one of those mamby-pamby gauges and everything.
Now I have this bike that I have ridden twice in three weeks. Oh well, it makes a really nice laundry rack in my room at the Hampton Inn.

Does the Hampton Inn have Wi-Fi? Yes it do!

I like this hotel … but oh my, it has absolutely the slowest Internet service I have encountered in my travel (65 cities and counting). Videos are reduced to slow moving slide shows, more or less. And listen up hoteliers. Lose the access code for long-term guests. I have been at the Hampton for more than 30 days, and yes, I have entered the code every day. Ha! They changed the code every week … typically just after I finally memorize it. Plus … You can’t be pre-emptive to enter the code. You have to wait for the 24-hour ticker to tell kick you off - so the code is usually due right during the middle of an important download. Hey .. But the oranges and bananas and free peanut butter are stellar - 3 pings.

Back to other sports. In 2004, for my blog The Wi-Fi Guy, I pinged Memphis. Peabody Ducks - been there ducked that. Beale Street acrobats - check. I even checked out Wi-Fi at a little multi-brew tavern that is based in Texas. Me and my laptop were drawn to The Flying Saucer, like nerds to a keyboard. Yes, The Saucer has Wi-Fi in addition to “billions and billions” of different beers.

But … but … I somehow missed the AutoZone Park in the heart of Memphis! A new acquaintance assured me that he helped in the construction of the ballpark, before 2004. Well … I didn’t see it last time.

This trip, I made up for it and talked my way into the park with my media pass.  What a great ballpark … lot’s of firepower too. The Memphis Redbirds won in a lopsided game, over a team that sports one of my favorite names in any sport - The Albuquerque Isotopes. ( Insert your own uranium-238 joke here.) I have been to a few baseball games, but never seen this before. The Redbird pitcher was going to bunt, and the opposing pitcher tagged him in the head with an inside pitch. Cooler heads prevailed.

Did the home of the R-Birds have Wi-Fi? Yes and (mainly) no. There was a Wi-Fi network, but it was not for public viewing. No wonder I didn’t detect this ballpark last time. No score.

Where Redbirds Kick Some Isotope

The highlight of the day? “Kent! Hey Kent!” I thought, “Now who in the world would know me at a Minor League baseball game in Memphis, Tennessee?” And for a second, after I turned around, I still didn’t know. But some large, brawny gentleman in cargo shorts, t-shirt and a ballcap knew me. OH! Ha! “You’re out of uniform.” It was one of my new friends in Millington - a military police type from the Naval Air Station.
And how cool is this? It was Memorial Day, and his son threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the ballpark that day. Ain’t that America!

Know what I sayin?