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PingWi-Fi Headed To Fargo, Where Rivers Are Red, Safety Is Orange

March 27th, 2009 · Tags:Cities · Satire · Wi-Fi

So, what started out as Ping Dirty Jobs II became Will and Kent’s big truckin adventure. For my next wet and non-Wi-Fi project, my colleague and I are headed to Fargo, N.D. to take on the Red River … or actually to help out as businesses and residents clean up the aftermath from her swollen rage. The river’s flooding is said to be the worst since the 1890s.

Aftermath — now there’s a word that needs a better PR firm. It is only used these days after a hurricane or flood or other disaster. Yet, once it was the name of a Rolling Stones album … I digress.

So, Fargo, What up, ay, ya know?

We are on our way, driving as fast as we can — but as fast as we can means 60 m.p.h. in this case. Our truck is wisely configured with a maximum speed of 60 m.p.h. by management. (I believe the device is called a governor.) Good thinkin, Lincoln.

Speaking of Lincoln, we are about 100 miles south of Lincoln, Neb., and/or Omaha, as I write this blog. (It is my turn to ride shotgun in the truck.)

For the previous two hours, we were delayed near Topeka, Kansas. That’s where I scored my first blow out, on the first day of my new gig driving a truck. How memorable. On this day the Freightliner sailed through Oklahoma, but in Kansas the rubber met the road a little more than it should. Then, after the blow out, it got worse. We surveyed the tire … or what once was a tire, and decided to keep going.

The truck has four wheels on that axle, so we kept going, slowly, hoping to “limp” into a tire center. We put on the hazards and pressed on. However, a state trooper found us before we found fresh rubber and he pulled us over.

Kansas is proud of their highways, and therefore the officer said we could no longer leave strips of rubber and shards of steel belt in our aftermath. He gave us a warning and said we were OOS with that bad tire. That is like S-O-of-L, only more family friendly. We were deemed “out of service” by the law. He gave us the number for a tire service. And ordered me to position the orange triangles. (Look at the PingWi-Fi logo … see irony.)

Yes … position the triangles. I had to set up three of the orange safety symbols on the roadside behind us.

Just let me say a little about those wonderful little orange triangles. I think perhaps they are the best invention ever. I mean … I had two hours to do nothing but watch cars whiz by … and you know what? Ninety-five percent of the crazy drivers on the road actually changed lanes to help keep us more safe on the side of the road. It was like magic. Orange triangle goodness!

Safety is what we do.

Safety - it's what we do.

I have never seen drivers this courteous or so concerned for another person’s safety on the highway. It was the triangles! Magic I say. So, two words of advice — invest in orange safety triangles, they work more effectively than anything produced in this country (or China). Second, get some orange triangle magic fo yo ownself. It work. Be safe, road warriors.

Know what I sayin?