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So This Guy On The Barrier Reef Thinks HE Has Best Job?

May 6th, 2009 · Tags:Cities · Satire

Every journalist loves a road trip. Or at least they used to. Most of them read On The Road or they grew up watching Charles Kuralt, who made Winnebagos cool before John Madden.

So, when I did an 18,000-mile road trip to 43 cities to write about Wi-Fi a few years ago, it was “a natural.” Most of the journalists contacted across the country interviewed me about the adventure.

And repeatedly, they would ask the same question: “Man, what is it like to have the coolest job in the world?”.

I agree with them … and in spite of the Australian Island/blog contest, I still think I have the coolest job! Driving coast to coast with my camera, a laptop and lots of good music is a dream come true. Sure, someday I would like to take my travel blog international, but I am glad that I am seeing the U.S.A. first. I think everyone should, before they venture across the water.

So … speaking of water and the coolest job. Finally, they have announced the winner. Ben Southall, a British adventurer landed the 6-month gig on Hamilton Island, in the Great Barrier Reef off Queensland.

Here is the link:

But you know what? … I bet living in paradise for six months isn’t all it is cracked up to be. The guy is taking his girl friend … so right off the bat, I have to ask how is he ever going to get away from her on an island? Just kidding (sort of).

But seriously, I bet the gig is tougher than it sounds. Don’t get me wrong … if the guy bails, and they need a replacement blogger, I have my tanning butter packed and ready, mate.

In fact, I hope that the 35,000+ of us who didn’t land the job can influence the guy to get homesick. I encourage you all to write to him and tell him about all the cool stuff he is missing out on back in the cubicle.

Ok … I’ll get the mindgames started …

So, Mr. Southall … have you considered this? … the Top 10 Reasons why your dream job in Queensland is in fact, NOT the best job in the world:

The color ocean blue clashes with your hockey jersey.

Microscopic ocean fish will eventually enter any orifice.

Sand, when strategically placed, causes chafing.

Coconut shells only come in C-cup size.

While you’re smoking your grass skirt, Arnold is legalizing the good stuff in Cali.

The question is no longer pertinent, Mary Ann and Ginger both are over the hill.

When you spear a fish, it gets all wiggly and icky on the end of the stick.

Buried treasure isn’t worth anything in this economy.

Not unlike the office, all those people on “Survivor” have peers to stab in the back.

These days you get in trouble for calling another dude your “little buddy.”