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Exploring Wi-Fi Frontier In Land Of Daniel Boone

December 3rd, 2009 · Tags:Cities · Coffee Shops · Satire · Wi-Fi

As a child, I was fortunate in that my generation, socially, was given the go ahead for boys to play with dolls. We called them action figures so it was okay to spend quality time on imaginary battlefields with GI Joe and all of his dismembered friends.

I was, however, unfortunate in that I realized my older brother was too darned old to have a plastic Daniel Boone action figure, and furthermore it was cruel and unusual that he stored it high atop an armoire, out of my reach.

It was the principle of the thing. So, one day I pushed my bunk bed over and climbed up to rescue ol’ Dan’l. But guess what. Inside that Daniel Boone box was where my brother hid his stash of plug chewing tobacco …So, he beat the crap out of me.

I’ve had a fascination with Daniel Boone ever since, so naturally when I Googled “things to do in Kentucky” and I saw a reference to his grave site … well, I made a pilgrimage to Frankfort, Kent.

I’ve never visited a famous grave before … Oh, except for JFK’s. I suppose if I ever go to France I may go see (and possible deface, like they do) Jim Morrison’s final resting spot. But while in Kentucky … it was all about the Daniel Boone Memorial. I mean, why not? And being ever the Internet pioneer, I tweeted from Daniel’s grave: “Who don’t love them some coonskin cap?” So, if I had a bucket list, I could scratch off Daniel Boone’s grave.

Besides the historical significance, Boone’s plot just happens to have the best view of the entire valley, the river and the new Kentucky Capitol.

So … how about the capital city, Frankfort?

Have you been to Frankfort, Kent.? You should check it out. They tell me that 30 years ago Austin, Texas was like this … A sleepy little state capital city … with no traffic issues. Quiet. Picturesque. Peaceful. You know, this might be a good place to relocate. There are a couple of cool college towns on either side — Lexington has UK and its Wildcats and Louisville has well … Louisville … “The Cards” — AND there is of course Kentucky State … (None of them are that horrid burnt orange color, too).

I mean … I drove up to the front drive of the capitol building and parked about 50 yards from the door — no

problem. There are what appear to be affordable homes across the street … yet this is a serious capitol with a dome and everything. I have seen me some capitol buildings in my 20,000+ mile, 60+major cities road trip! This may be the trippiest. “Where are the people?,” I thought? Well it was a Sunday, but still.

I digress … anyway, after hanging and working in L’Ville for about two months, I finally broke away for a little trip to the Kentucky capital. And yes, it is Frankfort … trust me.

I found a coffee shop with free Wi-Fi … and I had a very nice meal … as I sorted through some busy work — defending my proposed PingWi-Fi trademark against a huge corporation … I guess if you have to defend your brand in court, a nice coffee shop is a great place to do so … but that is another story …


Kentucky Coffeetree CafĂ© … smack dab in the heart of downtown on Broadway … a kickball game in session across the street at the former capitol building … excellent free Wi-Fi … used books … and excellent coffee — Coffeetree gets a score of 6 pings.

Like I was saying … Cool place … but also, while I was there … I had a little bit of a weird thing going on — no fault of Coffeetree.

“Have you ever had that feeling in your life, that someone was watching you?”

– Grand Funk Railroad

After driving 45 minutes from Louisville to Frankfort, yes, I found a cool coffee shop. And it is curious that I had just left a town where I know only about three people — although The Ville is

ranked at #26, U.S. population — and drove to a second town where I knew no one …. And yet …

Sitting next to me in the coffee shop in Frankfort was a dude I have seen in a coffee shop back in Louisville. Too strange. How do I know for sure that I’ve seen this guy? Well he is memorable — has long hair, even though I am guessing he is much older than me. And he wears a heavy metal ball cap turned backwards — not your average grandpop. Well anyway … he leaves an impression … so yes, I was a little freaked out to see him in two remote locations during my tour of Kentucky.

I even asked the coffee shop workers if they had seen the guy before. They asked around. Yes! (That was a relief.) It seems he and his laptop also get around … and he is somewhat of a regular … I mean about as regular as an old dude and his laptop and his addiction to Wi-Fi can be.

Know what I sayin?