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Gogo Wi-Fi Helps Me With Inflight Yahyahs on AA

January 19th, 2010 · Tags:Airports · Cities · Satire · Wi-Fi

What’s a “yahyah” anyway?  Isn’t that from a Rolling Stones’ recording … “Get Yer Yahyahs Out,” or something like that.

Well … we’ve only just begun and already I digress …

What could be better than a Gogo Wi-Fi hotspot on board my sweet American Airlines ride at 40,000 feet?  Just one thing — THREE open seats all to my lonesome AND Gogo!  And so i blog …

Yes, I hit the jackpot on this flight.  Most of the plane … well about two-thirds of the seats are full.  So I am fortunate to have the old lounge position in full force.  But, it didn’t come easy.  Ha!  I am a little ashamed of myself.  Some absent-minded dude, carrying an armful of architectural drawings rolled up in his arms, tried to take 33 percent of my row.

Ha … I told him “No!”  Can you believe that?  What an arse I have become.  Oh well … in my defense, it was not his ticketed seat, and he hopscotched around to three or four other seats before he decided he wanted to ruin the first comfortable flight I will have had in ages.

I sent him packing back toward the front.

He may be thanking me right now, as the infant one row over wails.  I am fine with that.  Nothing the iPod earbuds can’t pacify.  Regardless,  I can tolerate toddlers who don’t know how to act in public.  It is the absent-minded adults that set me off.

You know this situation is so perfect, I am even happy with the cardboard-flavored turkey sandwich I brought on board from a DFW Airport eaterie.

Now .. if the lady across the aisle will refrain from sneezing again in my direction that will be good.  And as long as I am making a wish list … let’s talk about this unsavory character one row in front of me.  he needs to stop what he is doing.  Now.

He looked normal enough when he sat down.

Then … it began — an incessant scratching of his head, just above the ear.  I am pretty sure I saw a cloud of dry scalp particulate wafting among the cabin blowers, pluming from his general direction.

OMG!  I think we have the world’s first dandruff device onboard, and he is definitely trying to detonate.

Oops.  In this day and time can I blog/tweet that from a plane?  Well …  trust me … this is totally a joke … No really, wait! Wait!

You gotta believe me …

And so it goes.  In about an hour, the crotchety squad will touch down in St. Louis, Mo. I can’t wait.  Something about picking up Wi-Fi near the big, crazy arch just sets my flesh all aquiver.

I am headed to St. Louis for my next Dirty Gigs assignment, which helps to fund this blog.  You would think being crotchety would bring in more sponsors … I don’t know …

And while PingWi-Fi toils during the day, Wi-Fi plans will be layed and made around town at night.

Know what i sayin?