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PingWi-Fi Wipes Poo From Memory, Thanks To Posers

June 14th, 2012 · Tags:Cities · Satire

Yoga has been in our toolbox since 2003, but not in a very organized way. Typically, we do lots of stretching and a few embarrassing body twists but not even a namaste. We’re in it for the physical benefits … nothing spiritual about it — at all — for our purposes anyway.

However, the other night we left the confines of the PingWi-Fi Balcony Worldwide Headquarters and private yoga studio and attempted to play well with others. Ha … yoga as a social networking tool. There was even sweet acoustic guitar work from Summer Dean in the background. ¬†What a concept.


The event was sponsor by a yoga instructor who calls his concept Posers — an inclusive combination of fitness, music, food, culture, people and laughter … (This seems to be a fit!)

At the event were encouraged to participate due to the fact we are acquainted with the yogi a.k.a Poser in question — instructor Mateo. It always helps one to feel at home, when you know the person in charge …

And we go way back with Mateo … back to the day when he approached at a local resort swimming hole and said, “Hey man … I am embarrassed to ask this, but … are you Trey Anastasio?’ I was in fact NOT Trey Anastasio nor have I ever led the jam band Phish by any other name. But, if you know me, you can guess that this question and the ensuing introduction endeared Mateo forever.

So … when we heard Mateo was doing his yoga thing in lieu of a happy hour over on Fort Worth’s Southside at Shaw’s Burgers & Shakes, we hopped on the motor-sick-L and rode on over. No, I did not tie a yoga mat to my back for the ride. That would be about as acceptable as two dudes on the same motorcycle, I am sure. I digress …

So anyway … very cool. We took it easy, and still managed to get a great work out. And yes, Mateo introduced us to the class as Tre … Wi-Fi Guy … and as “the leader of the best jam band ever.’ We liked this.

Even more … we liked Mateo’s spiel … the words of wisdom he doled out as he commanded people to twist and turn into really peaceful, tranquil, human pretzels.

So impressed were we, that we will paraphrase. Mateo told the story of his recent stroll over in the chic West 7th development of Fort Worth — a pretty nice area with many new restaurants and mixed use residential/retail foo-foo-dom. To Mateo’s surprise and his chagrin, on his walk among such culturally aware surroundings, he had the misfortune to plant his foot in poo.

Some rebel had left their little baggie at home and allowed Fido to leave a calling card on the sidewalk. One has to assume, although he did not verify it, that Mateo, being a yoga instructor and carefree author and all … must have surely been wearing open-toed sandals. Ooh! We don’t know … but we are assuming this.

What we do know, based on Mateo’s account was that the mess stuck to him physically and metaphorically, and as a self-admitted OCD guru … it must have been maddening and really gross. But, a man of peace and commitment, he kept walking.

Here comes the message part. As Mateo walked, he notice the poo did not go away, au contraire Pierre, it took on additional mass. The poo was like a magnet, to which all kinds of other debris clung. Hairs of unknown origin … pieces of gum wrappers … grass … perhaps the contact lens of The Wi-Fi Guy … you know, just whatever … and lots of dirt joined the funk … holding on tight to Mateo and his flipflop.

“And I thought, what a perfect analogy,” Mateo told the class as he balanced on one leg, with the other leg and his arms stretched skyward.

So, we were all instructed to stretch and breathe deep and close our eyes and relax … and think.

“What is that poo you might have stepped in recently?” (Mateo … you are a genius … yes … yes!) What bad thing or person or whatever have you “stepped in?” What gross things you have encountered have hurt you? What negative or maybe even evil thing is sticking to you and weakening you … torturing you? What poo has adhered to your heart and created baggage? What regrettable things have weighed you down, even if you know it is counterproductive? Sadly, we all hang on … for whatever reason … no matter how bad the person or the thing is.


Let go of the poo. Let it go. Wash the funk from your soul or sole … The guru said, in so many words. Let go the poo! Let it move on. It was funk from the minute you first stepped in it, and it only brought more and more bad things along for the ride.

Let it go.

So … my fellow passengers on the Wi-Fi path … Have you stepped in any poo today? Let it go. It was never worthy of your time, and it only hurts you to worry about it. Poo will always be poo. You won’t change poo. Don’t worry about it … wipe it from your shoe along with the bad smell … and continue your journey on the higher road … or the path less traveled, or what have you.

OH … more wisdom, yoga and cold beer to come, at a venue near you.


Know what I sayin?